Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Left at the alter...

So to fully understand future posts I feel it is necessary to go over what exactly happened to me in the past month.  On September 4th of this year I was left at the alter.  It was not expected, I was lined up with my father and bridesmaids ready to walk down the aisle when he came to me and broke the news.  It was quite the dramatic event.  People screaming, crying, and running to keep my father and family members from enforcing any sort of physical pain to my ex-fiance.  As for the reason he called it off...."My whole heart just isn't in.  I just don't think we have enough in common."  Awesome, it took you four years, two of which we were engaged to figure out we did not have enough in common.  The decorations and the weather that day were perfect by the way.  As was everything about that day until that moment. 

The next day as I went to the house we picked out together to pack my things I was a mess.  However, when I got there and his parents had all of my stuff sitting on the driveway I realized it was possible to feel even worse than I already did.  Needless to say his parents never like me nor my family for no apparent reason.  His father was there along with his best man and his family.  The best man and his family were great, and it would have been much worse without them there, they were very supportive of me and I will be forever greatful for that.

I have come to realize that what happened is a good thing because there were many things wrong with our relationship that I had been ignoring, but that doesn't mean that this is easy in any way.  I can't help but feel a sense of rejection and betrayl.  I am still trying to figure out how you can go from seeing someone everyday for four years to being ok with  never seeing them again, because I have not seen him since our wedding day.  Just for the record, he thinks none of this is his fault, not sure how it is not his fault but whatever.  I'm not unhappy that he called it off, if he had doubts then I wouldn't want him to go through with it, I am upset about how he did and how long he waited.

So up until this week I had been living with my parents bascially out of their garage.  I have now moved into my own apartment and have begun a new life.  Thankfully I have a job that allowed me to work from home that I love.  My new life so far has been interesting.  I feel as though some of this has got to be entertaining to someone so I decided to share my adventures via this blog.  Dark humor will be included because as of right now that gets me through the day.  Enjoy.

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